Starting therapy can feel like a big step for both parents and children. When you’re preparing for your child’s first visit to a psychologist, you might find yourself wondering about the best way to introduce this new experience. It’s common to worry about how your child will react—will they feel anxious, confused, or even resistant to the idea? These are natural concerns, and as a parent, you want to approach the topic in a way that feels reassuring and supportive.
At Sydney Children’s Practice, we know that talking to your child about therapy is more than just explaining an appointment on the calendar. It’s about helping them understand that therapy is a safe and positive space where they can express their feelings, learn new skills, and find comfort. With a few thoughtful steps, you can make this conversation a chance to build trust and reduce any fears your child may have:
Choose the Right Moment to Talk to Your Child About Therapy
When it comes to talking about therapy, timing is important. Imagine you’re trying to plant a garden; you wouldn’t start sowing seeds during a storm. Similarly, bringing up therapy immediately after an argument or during a tense moment can make the idea seem like a punishment or consequence. It’s crucial to choose a calm, neutral time to introduce the concept, ensuring your child feels safe and open to the conversation.
One parent shared how they chose a quiet evening at home, right after a shared family activity, to talk about therapy. The relaxed atmosphere made it easier for their child to listen and engage in the discussion without feeling overwhelmed or defensive. They started by gently acknowledging the challenges their child had been facing and expressed empathy, showing that they understood how tough things might have been.
Choosing the right moment to talk about therapy helps set a tone of understanding and care.
Think about moments when your child is most at ease—maybe during bedtime, on a peaceful weekend morning, or while engaging in a favourite activity. These can be ideal moments to introduce therapy. When the environment is relaxed, and emotions are steady, your child is more likely to be receptive and see therapy as a helpful tool rather than something to fear.
By choosing the right moment, you’re not just introducing the idea of therapy; you’re also setting a tone of understanding and care. This approach helps your child feel supported from the very start, fostering an environment where they can openly express their thoughts and feelings.
Discuss the Issues Honestly and Empathetically
When talking to your child about therapy, honesty and empathy are your greatest tools. It’s important to approach the conversation with a sense of openness and understanding, acknowledging both the difficulties your child may be facing and the shared desire to find solutions together.
Start by gently discussing the specific challenges your child has been experiencing. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been feeling really sad lately and that things haven’t been easy for you. I want you to know that it’s okay to feel this way, and I’m here to help.” By clearly stating what you’ve observed, you show that you are attuned to their experiences and are ready to listen without judgment.
Parents have found success by framing the conversation around a shared concern such as: “We’ve both seen how hard things have been lately, haven’t we? I’ve been thinking about ways to make things a bit easier, and I thought maybe talking to someone who understands these feelings could help us figure things out together.” This kind of language not only validates the child’s feelings but also emphasises that therapy is a team effort, aimed at supporting them in the best way possible.
Remember to keep the conversation simple and to the point, especially with younger children. Explain that everyone has tough times and that seeing a psychologist is just one way to get some extra help. For older children and teens, you can be more specific, discussing how therapy can provide strategies for managing feelings and dealing with challenges they might be facing.
Empathy is key here. When you validate your child’s feelings and show understanding, it helps reduce any sense of stigma or fear they might have about therapy. You might say, “I know it can be really hard to talk about these things, and it might even feel a bit scary at first. But you’re not alone in this—I’m right here with you, and so is the psychologist. We’re all here to help you feel better.”
Also, give your child a chance to express their own thoughts and feelings about therapy. Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you feel about talking to someone new about what’s been going on?” or “What worries you the most about this?” This not only gives them a voice in the process but also provides you with insights into their concerns, allowing you to address them directly.
Explain and Normalise Therapy in an Age-Appropriate Way
Once you’ve chosen the right moment and laid the groundwork with empathy and honesty, the next step is to demystify therapy for your child. Children often fear the unknown, so explaining what therapy involves in a way that suits their age and understanding can make a world of difference.
For younger children, it can be helpful to frame therapy as a space where they get to talk about their feelings, learn new things, and even play games. You might say, “Going to see the psychologist is like having a special coach for your feelings. Just like you have teachers who help you learn at school, a psychologist helps you understand what to do when you feel sad, mad, or worried. And guess what? They even have fun games and toys!”
Using your child's special interests can also help! Take the example of a five-year-old child who loves superheroes. By talking about therapy as a place where he can learn super skills to help manage his big feelings, just like superheroes learn how to use their powers, this comparison can help the child see therapy as something exciting and empowering, rather than intimidating.
For older children and teenagers, it’s important to acknowledge their growing independence and the need for privacy. Teens may worry about confidentiality or feel that therapy is a way for parents to get inside their heads. To address these concerns, you could explain, “A psychologist is there to help you figure out what’s going on in your life, on your terms. They’re not there to tell you what to do or to report everything back to me. In fact, they keep what you talk about private, unless it’s something that might put you or someone else in danger.”
Encourage your teenager to be an active participant in choosing their psychologist, if possible. This involvement can give them a sense of control over the process, which can be crucial for their buy-in and openness to therapy. You might ask, “What kind of person would you feel most comfortable talking to? Let’s look together and find someone who feels like a good fit for you.”
Encourage Questions and Foster Open Dialogue
It’s essential to create a safe space for your child to ask questions and share their feelings about therapy. Giving them the opportunity to express their concerns and curiosity can help demystify the process and make them feel more comfortable and in control.
For younger children, start the conversation a day or two before the appointment. This timing provides enough notice for them to process the information without allowing too much time for anxiety to build up. You could say, “We’re going to visit someone new tomorrow who is really good at helping kids talk about their feelings. Do you have any questions about that?” This gentle approach encourages openness and invites your child to share any thoughts or concerns they might have.
For older children and teenagers, it’s important to give them more time to think about and prepare for the idea of therapy. Ideally, start the conversation at least a week before the first appointment. You might say, “I’ve been thinking that talking to someone outside of the family might help us all understand what you’re going through a bit better. What do you think about that?” By inviting them into the conversation early, you respect their autonomy and encourage them to take an active role in their mental health journey.
Encourage your child to ask any questions they have about therapy, no matter how small or silly they might seem. Reassure them that it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure and that their questions are important. Some common questions might include: “Will I have to talk about things I don’t want to?” or “What if I don’t like the psychologist?” Answer these honestly and calmly, reinforcing that therapy is a space for them to feel safe and supported.
A psychologist is there to help you figure out what’s going on in your life, on your terms.
When taking these points into consideration, introducing your child to the idea of therapy can can become an empowering conversation that opens up new possibilities for growth and understanding. By choosing the right moment, discussing the issues with honesty and empathy, explaining therapy in an age-appropriate way, and fostering open dialogue, you can help your child see therapy as a safe and supportive space.
Remember, the goal is to create an environment where your child feels heard, respected, and comfortable sharing their feelings. By taking these steps, you’re not only easing the transition into therapy but also building a foundation of trust and support that will benefit your child well beyond their first appointment.
If you have any questions about how to talk to your child about therapy or would like to learn more about our services, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Contact Sydney Children’s Practice today to speak with one of our experienced child psychologists. We’re here to support you and your family every step of the way.
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